The Adventures of The Superheroes With Long Names
by asuitcaseandapaintedface
Summary: Because Lily was never going to eat Mexican before bed again, but then again, it never told lies. Extended version of drabble written for LiveJournal Drabble-thon.


**_First time posting in this fandom, this is the extended version of a drabble I wrote for the Drabble-thon on LiveJournal for the BarneyRobin community. The prompt was Barney and Robin as superheroes. Enjoy!_**

The cheesy theme music echoed through her head as neon blue and orange suit-clad Barney jumped into view, a dark mask shaped oddly enough like a woman's boobs covered his eyes and an arrogant, 'now I'm really too good for you' smirk illuminated his features.

"I'm Too Chicken To Be a Man So I'm Going To Sleep With Every Bimbo in a Three Mile Radius Because I'm in Love With Robin Man." Barney had a law about spandex he must have made up on the spot when he laughed for ten minutes about Marshall's spandex work out shorts. _Only two types of people wear spandex, (1) Gay men. (2) Strippers, he had said. _Lily had heard the mumbled third exception, Robin, but he would never tell her that. He DID look good in that spandex suit though-that fit in all the right—

"And I'm Too Oblivious For My Own Good And Won't Stop Unknowingly Breaking Barney's Heart By Sleeping With Ted Woman!" Robin? ROBIN? Dressed from head to toe in a red spandex Superwoman outfit complete with a large maple leaf on the back, she flew from the top of an office building and landed beside Barney.

Behind them both, a giant version of Ted in a white wedding dress was stomping around New York City crushing every building in his wake. He roared loudly causing the ground around them to shake as bouquets shot out of his mouth destroying the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Look Too Oblivious For My Own Good And Won't Stop Unknowingly Breaking Barney's Heart BY Sleeping With Ted Woman, the Bridezilla is destroying-" He stopped yelling and began gazing lovingly at Robin; a lovesick puppy stare, much like the one only Lily had seen, lit his features. Realizing what he was doing, he shook his head and stared back at Ted-well Bridezilla. "He's going to shoot us with his 'I want 2.5 kids and a monogamous ball and chain commitment' beams--holy crap look at the size of that chest and she's blonde!" Barney shot across the street at a supersonic speed to the innocent bystander standing there.

"What were you saying Too Chicken To Be a Man So I'm Going To Sleep With Every Bimbo in a Three Mile Radius Because I'm in Love With Robin Man?" Robin looked around before pulling out a nail file and began filing her the edges of her nail. "Easy day today, absolutely nothing wrong," she stared up into the sky and at Ted's head. "Beautiful sky, such a nice blue." Moving back to her nails she began humming something along the lines of 'Oh Canada' before the realization hit her. "HOLY MAPLE SYRUP, _WOW_, that extremely tall man in a dress looks a lot like Ted."

Flying up to meet Bridezilla's gaze, Robin pulled down on her suit revealing a little more cleavage than before. "Hey hot stuff, wanna go back to my place?" Growling, the super villain smiled and shot red beams from his eyes at Robin. "Forget that, let's get married and have 2.5 kids. A white picket fence sounds nice, what about a dog, or a cat. Let's grow old together and sit on the front porch playing Bridge." She began falling fast from the sky and into the arms of a grief stricken Barney who had just witnessed the event. His face screwed into an expression of horror as he looked down at the loopy Robin in his arms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He placed her gently on the ground before kissing her forehead and picked up a large TV from the trash behind him. "TAKE THIS YOU DIRTY BASTARD!" Barney tossed the TV in Bridezilla's, well Ted's, face. Bridezilla shuddered once and exploded into a bunch of wedding bands and cake icing.

Lily awoke in fits of hysterical laughter.

"That's the last time I eat Mexican before bed." This was one dream she wasn't telling Marshall about in the morning.

* * *

Later that evening, Lily sat in the both with Marshall and Ted telling them of the latest escapades of her kindergarteners.

"I swear, I'm spending my entire budget for the class on glue! Last week it was glue and crayons. There are still crayons stuck to the bottom of the tables. This week, five of them already have gone home sick for eating glue and glitter-what the-" They had been waiting on Barney and Robin to arrive considering Robin was due at the station in two hours for her morning show. And Barney, well, they didn't care to know what he was doing, but this-this Lily decided she had to ask questions.

The-uh-"dynamic duo" was dressed head to toe as the more famous dynamic duo Batman and Robin. Barney slid off his Batman mask and grabbed Robin's hand twirling her around almost as if he was dancing with her.

"Yeah, I know. I told you guys there were exceptions to the spandex rule." He looked down realizing he was still holding her hand and dropped it like deadweight. "I look like one big fricking condom dressed in this rubber suit, but a damn fine condom if I do say so myself. Always carry protection kids." Barney held up his hand to high five Robin until she reluctantly complied and slid into the booth leaving room for Barney. The gang continued gaping at them.

"My show is doing a tribute to the original Batman television series this morning and asked me to dress up. Unfortunately my co-host called in sick and somehow," she stopped and stared at Barney. "And I don't want to know how Barney is co hosting the show. Wait, you slept with the produc-"

"You said you didn't want to know." Barney took a swig of scotch and set the glass back on the table smirking.

Lily just laughed.


End file.
